Mean Mothers-In-Law and Abuse. Is there a difference?

Why are some women mean mothers-in-law?  Could it be that they don't like their child's spouse or could it just be that they are just mean spirited?

Does she not understand that by hurting you, she is hurting her child, too. She does not respect him/her if she does not act respectful toward you. A child should not have to cut off contact, but limit it if she refuses to cooperate.

Your spouse needs to understand that support of you does not mean he/she is taking sides and does not diminish the love he/she has for his mother. But, it does mean that he/she will not allow disrespect toward their spouse.

Be cordial, but keep your distance, this is often the best way to handle the situation. Keep visits to a minimum. Do not invest any more emotional effort into trying to have a good relationship with your mother-in-law. It also helps to feel sorry for your mother-in-law because in the long run, the person she is really hurting is herself.
 Perhaps it would be beneficial to seek guidance from a marriage counselor (for both of you - husband and wife). The counselor will be able to give coping strategies and how best to deal with your mother-in-law.

One of the hardest parts of a negative relationship with your mother-in-law is keeping your mouth shut when she brings out the nitpicking, critical comments. Being polite is not the same as putting up with what is being done; you're still perfectly entitled to stand up for yourself, but it is about not stooping to the same level.

Here's few things I've learned along the way: 

• Even if she says nasty things about you, don't repeat them.
• Don't criticize her in front of your spouse. Your spouse will be stuck between a rock and a hard place, and even if he or she starts to see your side of things, it will be hurtful to have to join in any undermining.
• Equally, never criticize your spouse in front of her; this will simply make her defensive and cause her to see you in a bad light.

It's a big person who can acknowledge what she's doing and apologize. But will that ever happen?
 
The bottom line here?  Abuse is never okay, no matter what form it takes or who it comes from.

Garlic - The Wonder Plant

Most everyone loves garlic. It flavors food fantastically. Garlic is one of the oldest plants known to man. It is believed that garlic was used by the early Asian and Indian civilizations and its name, in Sanskrit, means Slayer of Monsters.  Garlic was also popular with the Greeks and Romans and used to protect sailors from shipwrecks.

The remarkable healing properties of garlic are undeniable. People used to carry garlic cloves to protect themselves from all kinds of evil influences - including repelling vampires!

Garlic has also been used as an aphrodisiac to promote passions but we all know that may not work too well in modern times! Who hasn't been in a situation where they want to kiss someone special but avoid doing so after eating a hearty meal laced with garlic!

There's so many ways to use garlic, including medicinal ways.

Did you know?

• Mixing a finely chopped garlic clove with 1 tsp. of grated apple, then eaten slowly is a digestive tonic before going to bed.
• Packing a dental cavity with garlic pulp to ease the pain will work until you can see your dentist.
• If you put a clove of garlic in each shoe will treat whooping cough.
• Charm warts away by making three crossed with a garlic clove over them.

Garlic has been popular in kitchens throughout the ages. During cooking, garlic mellows in flavor and becomes sweeter.

If you chew cardamom sees or eat cumin seeds on a green bean, you'll remove the smell of garlic from the breath. This is something I'm going to try for sure.

How about rubbing a cut clove of garlic around the dish in which you are serving a salad to impart flavor. Sounds heavenly.

Aren't Flowers Supposed to be picked?

All was going well yesterday, even at work. When I went to pick up my daughter from the sitter, I was greeted with an angry lady. I'm wondering to myself, what on earth is happening here? As it turns out, my lovely daughter decided to pick flowers from the sitter's yard. God love her, she meant well. She picked them to give to the sitter. The sitter was not amused. K hid under a table until I showed up to get her.

I didn't know what to do, what to say other than "sorry". On the ride home I started thinking about it. When I was growing up my parents did a lot of gardening and planted lots of flowers all over the yard. We were encouraged to help garden and to enjoy picking flowers so we could enjoy them in the house or on the patio table.

I spoke to my parents last night and mentioned what K did. My dad said that flowers are meant to be picked and enjoyed and he didn't understand what the problem was. In fact, my parents grow cherry tomatoes in their yard specifically for my daughter and niece to pick them and eat them when they visit. The girls also pick flowers and bring their "bouquet creations" to my mother telling her how much they love and appreciate her.

On the other hand, my mother said that not everyone wants to have their flowers picked. Just because she and my dad find it okay, not everyone else does.

Now what do I do? Do I buy flowers for the sitter or just let it go and tell K she can only pick flowers at her grandparents place or in her own backyard? I think the latter is the best way to handle this. What do you think?

Invitation - Write an article as a Guest Blogger

Would you like to get some free publicity for yourself and your site/blog? I would like to extend an invitation to you to write an article for this blog site!

Why accept the invitation and write an article as a guest blogger?

There are several benefits to writing an article for this site. Here are just a few of the reasons that you should consider becoming a guest blogger:

Improves SEO – You can link back to articles on your site from within the content of the guest article which will help your pages rank better.

Spreads the word – Writing a guest post is a fantastic way to reach a new audience of readers. Your article will be received by all my subscribers and will be seen by thousands of monthly visitors.

Directs More Traffic – Those that read and like your article will likely visit your site to learn more about what else you write. This is an opportunity to get a boost in traffic.

Strengthens your brand – A quality guest post can strengthen your brand as an expert in your field. A strong brand is essential to long-term blogging success.

Give readers new perspectives and opinions.

Some guidelines for submitting guest posts

The article content has to fit with the topics presented in my site and be a value to my readers. Topics would include, pregnancy (the good, the bad, the ugly, the ups, downs, good days, bad days, do you like being pregnant, do you think you're nuts for getting pregnant, etc., etc.), babies, children, life with teenagers, life as a stay-at-home Mom, life as a working Mom, life as a working Dad, life as a stay-at-home Dad, life as a single Mom, life as a single Mom but you're married - you get what I mean. Humour is good too!

The article should be between 600 and 1200 words in length. Less than 1000 words is preferred.

I’ll add appropriate images, but if you have something it would be appreciated. You can include your logo and a link to your site/blog. Please be sure to include copyright information or appropriate credit.

I reserve the right to edit or reject any articles I feel are inappropriate in anyway.

Email me at admin@bellybuttonsandbabies.com to accept my invitation to write an article!

Your submission should be received no later than Friday, October 15, 2010. This will give me time to prepare the articles. Please let me know if you have any questions. Thanks!

Fran